I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
