Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When are your genitals available?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
