i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
