i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
where are you?
Hypothermia
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
