you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am one with the molecules
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
