You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
