The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
