God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
