I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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