well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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