a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
