Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
