Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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