we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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