think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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