as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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