Do vagina's smell?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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