Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
