I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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