This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize