If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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