so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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