I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize