just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
