Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
