I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
