im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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