I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
