You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
