How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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