I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
