I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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