sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
