We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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