it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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