That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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