id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
