Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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