My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
