Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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