I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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