he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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