i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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