just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize