ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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