Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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