How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
