Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this just has baby written all over it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
