I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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