remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
