yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
