no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
