She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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