I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
