Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
