i just google imaged poop.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
